Out of My Soul

Originally written August 2, 2005

Meaningful words are not always as the seem
having me waiting on a fairytale dream
I'm lost and can't be found
still lost in the run around

My heart is now as black and hard as coal
Something so deep so horrid so wrong
It was excavated, it was my soul

At first i was a beautiful happy person
but then i was torn down by insults and cursin'
A rhythm was in me
flowing like the wind moving water calmly down the sea
It was a good thing positive in every way
I was fearless no matter what the people would say

The rhythm took me into many different identities
I left myself and went into other entities
I was gone in my entirety
not me
The rhythm flew into me like the Nile flowing on a calm night
When the winds blow ever so nicely and just right
floating in mid air
with out so much of a care

Then I realize it's just a fantasy
That who ever I was pretending to be isn't really me
and i come back to this reality
but I was once the person i was pretending to be
long before all this pain and disaster hit me

I have been taken out of my soul
my heart is now as black as coal

It's so terrible trying to fake
hiding behind a smile to stop from showing heartache
I’m drowning in a pool of my own sorrow
I have a soul so hollow
I’m sinking below, barely trying to live
thinking what does life have for me to give

I’m flapping, waving, and gasping for air
while others are at a standstill and just stare
I’m so hurt because no one cares
This is to much for me to bare

So i let go of life and life lets go of me
but then I hear this faint melody
a beautiful rhythm instead of a cold hard beat
with a sound so wonderful, ever so sweet
Then I’m able to stand on my own two feet
Life decided that I’m worthy of staying
now I’m on my knees thanking God and praying

”Thanks for that rhythm that flew in me
restoring those pretend memories back to reality
the rhythm restored me, i am mentally healthy
I’m so glad you chose to save me”

No more heart as black as coal
I am new, renovated, and back to myself
I am no longer out of my soul

©Lyrically Poetic